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That shirt looks very becoming on you....of course if I were
on you I'd be coming too.
If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me...Please??!!
Are your
legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even
better crumpled up in the corner of my room.
Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep
seeing myself in your pants.
Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!?
Pardon
me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy?
Really, what time?
My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not?
Screw me if I'm wrong,
but isn't your name Gretchen?
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
I'm new in town, could I
get directions to your place?
Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in?
Hi, the
voices in my head told me to come talk to you!
Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?
If you and I
were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
That's a nice shirt...could I talk you out of it?
(Female at
the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
Hey
baby, you want to see something swell?
Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples....
Are
you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers!
I love every bone in your body...especially mine.
Pardon
me, are you in heat?!
You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
You
have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
The more I drink, the prettier
you get!
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have
grown some nice melons!
Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs and spread the word?!
Hey
Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs
as earmuffs.
Make a calling card that says.....Smile if you want to sleep with me! Then watch your victim try to hold
back her smile.
Hi, my name's (_____), how do you like me so far?
Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get
things straight between the two of us.
She: (to passing man) Do you have the time? Him: Do you have the energy?
You
know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beat me to it.
You know, I'd give
you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the
bread and ask, "Wanna roll?"
You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across.
That's
a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are wearing.
Ask girl if she likes jewellery. Then grab your nuts and
say, "Then suck this, it's a gem!"
Why don't you surprise your room-mate/parents and not go home tonight?
Good
looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when! Guy: As soon as I finish this drink.
Lie down. I think I love you
I
know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you just ate.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the
ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you
by morning.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit
on my face and I guess your age and weight.
You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said 'Particular
nice weather?'!
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
Do you know
the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out
Baby, you look better
and better each day...and tonight, you look like tomorrow!
Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together!
Baby,
you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm!
Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
I
want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear!
Would you
be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take/eat what I want!
Let's go back to my place and do the
things I'll tell everyone we did anyway!
My name is ______. Just remember that, so you'll know what to scream later.
Nice
shoes. Wanna screw?
Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you sure have a nice set of buns!
(Grab her ass...) Pardon me, is this seat taken?
I
miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
(Tapping your leg) You just think this is my leg.
You know what
would look good on you? Me!
Pardon me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I was wondering if you would
mind if I fantasised about you?
Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Hey, didn't we go to different
schools together?
Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you
home. My, what a pretty dress.
Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
I have only three months to live...
Hey
baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?
Hi! I'm Big Brother, and I've been watching you!
In the produce department:
"How can you tell if these things are ripe?"
Hey, weren't you Miss Virginia last year
Hey baby, can I tickle
your belly-button from the inside?
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
Go up to a girl and tell her she
has nice legs....then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving and that
one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited between the holidays?
Have you always been this cute, or did you have
to work at it?
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What?Me!
Have you run into any
trees lately? Then how bout a root!
Hey baby, you wanna fu*k or should I apologise?
If you want me, don't shake
me, or wake me, just take me.
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Hi,
do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
Excuse me, you have
some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off?
Do you know how to use a whip?
Do you wash your panties
with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them.
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Hi,
my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
You:
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. You: Well then, please start.
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring
some friends because my face seats five.
You: I hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah... You: (Whip out your pud) Well,
then step up to the mike!
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynaecologist.
Can I see your
tan lines?
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
Do
you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
I was sitting here holding this cigarette
and I realised I'd rather be holding you.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna
do lunch?
Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better!
Motion your finger for girl to come
over to you, when she gets there say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with TWO!
Hey baby,
you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone
number. If you give it to me, I'll call you and tell you the results.
Do you like music?(Yes) Good, I've got a great
stereo in my car!
Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
Man: (beckons woman with finger) Woman:(Approaches
man) Man: Do you always cum when someone fingers you?
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you
up with a biscuit!
I really like your peaches, can I shake your tree?
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate
and needed a name to go with the face.
Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth?
Do you want
to hear a joke that'll make you laugh your tits off?.. Oh, you've already heard it..
I like your butt, can I wear it
as a hat?
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly
colour co-ordinated.
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
Excuse me do fries come with that shake?
I'd
spend money on you I haven't even made.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I can't decide if you
are a better person than you are a woman or you are a better woman than you are a person.
So...Do you screw, or do
I owe you an apology?
Well hello there! How you screwin; glad to eat ya!
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to
strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have
you been married? He: Twice.
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
You make my
software turn to hardware!
As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Hey baby, How would you like
to join me in some math? We'll add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!
Baby, I'm no Fred
Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
There
are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
Gee Girl, your eyes remind me of crescent wrenches, every
time I look into them my nuts tighten
Girl, you've got more curves than a back-country road!
Girl, you got more
legs than a bucket of chicken!
I seen your picture in the dictionary today, it was under KABAAM!
I hope you
don't mind me giving you this rose, but, I just had to show it how you beautiful you are... |
